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10 Things People Struggling With Infertility Want You to Know

September 1, 2017
Emma Holt

The most important thing to remember when struggling through infertility is that you are not alone. HuffPost Parents asked the community to share what they wish others knew about infertility to get the conversation flowing. Sharing journeys and encouraging words or just listening to what others have gone through is sometimes the best way to inform yourself. 

 1. Sometimes conceiving isn't the problem, it's staying pregnant that is, and that's just as (if not more) painful than not being able to conceive. - Stephanie Tait 

 2. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Every test that comes back negative made me feel like less of a person. As much as I wanted to share my stories or feelings, I kept a lot under my hat. No one has the same infertility experience, just as no one has the same pregnancy experience. - Melissa Rocha 

 3. It's not just about age! You can be young and still struggle with infertility. - Colleen Sexton Freeman 

 4. "I wish they knew that on the outside the person may look like they're okay, but on the inside they feel like a failure as a woman and they die a little more each time they find out they're still not pregnant - Amanda Luba 

 5. Someone who suffers from infertility needs support after they are lucky enough to get pregnant. From the second you get the diagnosis, the entire process is so scary and you constantly worry that something will go wrong with the pregnancy. - Emily Shultz 

 6. The woman often feels alone in the struggle, but it is just as hard on the husband. - Mary High 

 7. It's gutwrenching, exhausting, hard on a marriage, and very, very long. It's also extremely rewarding when you find out it worked; the elation you feel is like nothing I could explain. - Melyssa Glunz 

 8. The hardest thing during my four years of trying was having friends who complained 24/7 about their pregnancy when I was wishing the whole time to be in their shoes. -  Alicia Wilkerson 

 9. Yes, it is a blessing that a friend is expecting, but it can be excruciatingly painful to discuss the dreams and hopes of a mom-to-be while waiting and wondering about your own pregnancy. I would cry hysterically right after offering congratulations and well wishes. -  Dawn Sanders Ledford 

 10. Never tell a person to relax and let it happen, or that it will happen when they stop trying  like when your friend's cousin's niece's wife's aunt's boss tried to get pregnant for a year. It doesn't work that way, and it just implies that it is somehow their fault they are infertile because they are stressing too much. The best thing you can say is, I'm sorry you are going through this. - Trina Alexa 

 Sometimes it can be hard to find the right words to say to someone going through infertility. It can be just as hard to put into words how you're feeling as you go through it. Keep yourself informed and know that there is a community of people willing to help and lend a listening ear! --


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