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Michaela Bates Opens Up About Her Feelings on Motherhood

Michaela Bates opens up about her struggle with infertility.

February 27, 2019
Bridget Houlihan

Michaela Bates-- member of the Bates family and part of the UPTV reality show, Bringing Up Bates-- opened up about her infertility in January 2017. She and her husband had been struggling to have children, and after her sister Tori announced her pregnancy, she decided to come forward. Quietly going through her pain in silence, she decided to finally let the rest of the world know about her issue-- something that countless women were relieved to see publicized. In a personal blog post, Michaela talks about:

  • Her views on motherhood
  • Learning to trust
  • Hopes for the future

Teddy bear in a crib
Michael had dreams of being mother began early on when she was a babysitter for her siblings.

Michaela’s Views on Motherhood

Growing up with so many other siblings, it’s no wonder that Michaela had dreamed of being a mother from a young age. There were always babies around her, and she sincerely enjoyed taking care of them. Always ready to babysit, Michaela had dreams of one day having a baby of her own. Watching her mother go through so many pregnancies, it seemed like this was a normal, everyday occurrence-- one that she believed God had intended for her.

After she and her husband were married, they couldn’t wait to start a family of their own. Some of her other siblings-- and close friends as well-- were beginning to make baby announcements, but she and her husband Brandon were still waiting. Watching her sisters become mothers was a joyful-- but privately for her-- painful experience. Michaela was still waiting for her first pregnancy so she could at long last be the mother she always wanted to be.

Pretty flowers in the sunlight.
As difficult as it was, Michaela learned to have faith again

Learning to Trust

After undergoing tests to see if there was possibly a blockage in her uterus or fallopian tubes, Michaela and Brandon did the only thing they could do-- wait. Michaela’s husband saw how this was affecting his wife and asked her to have faith. In her blog post, she conceded that she cried a lot, and was having a terrible time trying to see things differently. Brandon suggested she ask God to help her trust again, to help see her see that one day maybe her dream to have a baby will come true.

Michaela Bates and her husband Brandon.
Image courtesy of Michaela and Brandon’s Blog. The couple has grown closer, and stronger, together.

Hopes for the Future

Michaela and Brandon decided it might be best to come forward with the news that they’d been struggling with infertility-- in the hopes that perhaps if everyone knew, there wouldn’t be such a social stigma attached to it. It was painful to let everyone know that a member of a very fertile family couldn’t seem to get pregnant herself. But Michaela said her perspective changed when she realized that by letting people know her secret, maybe it could help other couples struggling with this learn to cope better. By showing how infertility isolated her-- but didn’t destroy her-- she hopes other couples can gain strength from the fact that you can learn to feel better as you work together through treatment.

She and Brandon like to look on the bright side of their situation-- they have become incredibly close. Michaela believes they will get through this, and will be all the stronger for it.


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